Listening to include: the right words for more inclusive communication

Verbal language is a very powerful form of action. Therefore, it needs care and listening in order to evolve and adapt to social changes.

Why inclusion and why words

Words that create reality

“The words we use,” Gianrico Carofiglio writes in 2016 in his Passeggeri notturni, ”can have an extraordinary impact not only on our individual lives, but also on our collective lives. Words create reality, they make – and unmake – things; they are often acts whose consequences must be foreseen and faced, in many spheres, private and public.”

What does this mean?

That as we speak we create the reality in which we are immersed, and that today, in an increasingly fast-paced and complex present, paying attention to the words we choose to use every day becomes decisive in the realization and perception of the world, our lives and the experience of other people. With this in mind, words are no longer just tools that help us make connections, but become a mirror of the society and culture we actively construct every day.

Words and inclusion

Working on the use of words, then, seems to be the most effective way to allow important social processes such as acceptance and representation of diversity to take place, whether in public or private contexts. This happens because verbal communication actually succeeds in reflecting and influencing people’s thinking.

Thought, in fact, is made up of words, the same words we need to be “social” and use to define ourselves, the emotions we feel, the people around us, the reality we experience, the events that happen to us, and the connections we make.

A question of responsibility

And why do we talk specifically about inclusion? Because it is inevitable: it is an act of responsibility to the evolving society that is taking shape before the eyes of generations who, not too far from us, have already put one foot in the future and need confidence to face a present that does everything in its power to hinder them.

Making the language we use appear “naturally” inclusive is not just a matter of acting “politically correct,” but an ethical and social necessity. If the words we use on a daily basis have the power to create reality, likewise it means that they can both reinforce stereotypes and discrimination and break down barriers and promote mutual understanding.

And for collective thinking to evolve according to the natural transformation of society’s needs, it is necessary for language to change shape along with it.

Contrary to what one might think in fact, language is dynamic and changes just as people change. It is precisely its ability to adapt to describe a constantly shifting reality and the interpretation of new linguistic norms with curiosity that will attest to its healthy state.

And that is where we need to start.

Inclusion comes from listening

In this sense then, inclusive communication starts with listening attentively to others’ experiences so that each person is respected and valued.

That is why today it is increasingly essential to provide for inclusive communication strategies not only in terms of individual and personal responsibility, but also as a common practice in areas such as education, politics, advertising, marketing, etc.

Leveraging channels and methodologies that can reach everyone easily and quickly helps the process of diversity inclusion to normalize, until we can see the fruits of it in legislative applications, social and news events, and so on.

Speaking and communicating in an inclusive way, and legitimizing new forms of expression that make everyone feel involved, helps this process come to fruition and build a future that is increasingly welcoming to those who will experience it. And it is from today that we can develop it.

But what specifically are we talking about? And how do we communicate inclusively?

No one excluded! Where and how to take the first steps toward inclusion

1 – Listening empathetically

To adopt inclusive language, the first step is to listen to people who experience discrimination. Listening to their stories, understanding their experiences, and taking note of terms and expressions that may be offensive or exclusionary can be a good exercise in empathic listening. In this way it is possible to overcome unconscious biases and cultural biases and find words that truly include and represent all identities.

2 – Disable the autopilot

When we speak, most of the time we do not realize the words we choose to formulate our thoughts, because it is as if we are expressing ourselves on “autopilot.” Along with listening to other people, therefore, it is important to take a critical approach, questioning ourselves first and foremost.

3 – Questioning oneself

Analyzing what we say, then, and understanding why we said it and what way we chose to do it will help us become aware of it. Then it is good to ask: Is there another way to say the same thing while including my interlocutor and really making him or her a participant in this communicative exchange?

4 – Choose alternatives

After analyzing and sifting through the valid alternatives to our speech, it is necessary to apply them and test their functionality with respect to our interlocutor. Initially it will seem to have created no obvious effect, it will be “strange,” “different,” but in time and with the common use of certain expressions everything will become -finally- normal.

Inclusiveness beyond gender

Women and men: sexism is still in the words

Although Italian is not an overtly sexist language, its androcentric use to date nonetheless reflects unmistakable stylistic and sociocultural legacies of the past. For example, the failure to use the feminine declension for some professions, although expected by the Italian language, reflects stereotypes that associated certain job positions exclusively with men. Terms such as “engineer” or “lawyer” are still frequently used today to refer to women in these professions.

“A more conscious use of language,” Cecilia Robustelli wrote in 2013 on the Accademia della Crusca website, ”contributes to a more adequate public representation of women’s role in society and their effective presence in citizenship.

It is not a matter of grammar, then, because as we have seen, this too changes over time, but a matter of the cultural use that is made of words that establishes or does not establish the implementation and determination of a status, in this case women’s status in the power imbalance between men and women.

Generational and disability discrimination: ageism and ableism

In addition to gender discrimination, there are other forms of prejudice manifested through language, such as ageism and ableism. Ageism is age-based discrimination that is often reflected in terms that stereotype older or younger people, contributing to a reductive view of their abilities and role in society. Similarly, ableism uses language to describe people solely on the basis of their disability, often in negative and limiting terms.

Using terms that belittle or stereotype people based on age, such as “old” or “kid,” contributes to reinforcing prejudice and discrimination. Adopting inclusive language means recognizing the value and dignity of people of all ages, avoiding stereotypes and valuing the experience and wisdom of older people, as well as the energy or creativity of young people.

Similarly, ableist language discriminates against people by using terms and expressions that define them solely on the basis of their disability. Choosing not to say “handicapped” or “disabled” and preferring expressions that respect people’s dignity, such as “person with disabilities” will serve to recognize their value and contribution in society.

How to become inclusive speakers

What to do then, to make our communication more inclusive? Here are some suggestions that will help us make the way we communicate more inclusive:

• We avoid the generic masculine: we correctly tune adjectives and nouns when referring to people of the feminine or non-binary gender. For example, use “male and female students” instead of “students” or, even better, the “student body.”
• We respect pronouns: we use the pronouns and gender that each person identifies with. Asking people what they prefer to be called will help us respect their choices.
• We avoid ableist expressions: we do not use disability or disease in a derogatory sense, for example, we avoid phrases such as “are you blind?” or “what a cancer!”
• Let’s value the complexity of people: let’s not define people only by their characteristic (ethnic, gender, ability), but let’s value their complexity, perhaps shifting the focus to their being unique.
• We use simple and accessible language: if the context does not require it, we avoid technicalities and jargon that may be exclusive; rather, we prefer words that are clear and understandable to all.
• We give visibility to marginalized identities: in our discourses, we give space and visibility to usually marginalized identities and narratives to reflect the diversity of society.
• Let’s remain human: Inclusive language is not just about gender, but embraces different dimensions of diversity. Adopting anti-racist language, for example, means avoiding terms and expressions that reinforce ethnic and cultural stereotypes. Let us remember, when we speak, when we write, to acknowledge and respect different ethnic and cultural identities, using appropriate terms and valuing the richness of diversity.

Let’s speak inclusively to transform society

Il linguaggio inclusivo non è solo un mezzo per adempiere al rispetto individuale, ma è anche un potente strumento di trasformazione sociale. “La lingua – scrive Vera Gheno nel suo saggio La lingua non deve essere un museo. La necessità di un linguaggio inclusivo – deve evolversi e adattarsi per riflettere le dinamiche sociali in cambiamento, abbandonando la staticità di un museo per diventare un mezzo vivo e attivo di inclusione”.

Inclusive language is not only a means of fulfilling individual respect, but also a powerful tool for social transformation. “Language,” writes Vera Gheno in her essay La lingua non deve essere un museo. La necessità di un linguaggio inclusivo – must evolve and adapt to reflect changing social dynamics, abandoning the static nature of a museum to become a living, active medium of inclusion.”

This means that the use of normocentric language could continue to reinforce existing inequalities, while inclusive language would contribute to a more equitable and respectful culture of diversity.

Cultural and social changes therefore come through language because this is the most living element by which human beings move forward-assigning to us speaking actors, in fact, the baton of this long relay race toward building a more equitable and free future.

Let’s talk, then, but let’s include and evolve. It is time!